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 Why does this all happen?

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Hidden Eyes
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Male Posts : 33
Birthday : 1995-01-15
Join date : 2009-11-09
Age : 23
Location : Ontario CA

PostSubject: Why does this all happen?   Mon Nov 09, 2009 11:43 pm

Not many of you know that I live with an abusive dad. My mother is in denial about everything that goes on in the house, my dad is mad and takes his anger/stress out on me. My mom wishes for a divorce but she cant afford to pay for me and my brother and because of my brothers assortment of problems he cant work for the stress may kill him.

Things are really rough but one thing I always wanted to know. Why, why me to be picked on. Maybe because I am the youngest or is it the fact that I was an accident. I don't really know but the one thing I do now this sucks. Today I got bored and wrote 'To Write Love On Her Arms' and was planning on taking a picture for fun. But my father had seen it and says "Writing on your hands encourages getting tattoos I am going to make you regret writing on your hands."(Of course my dad is completely against tattoos)

He grabs my arm then drags my ass to the kitchen sick he runs some hot water that felt like my skin was burning and proceeds to take a thing of steel wool. He runs it up and down my wrist with no soup under the burning hot water peeling away my skin and the writing. My wrist didn't bleed much but now it is super sensitive to everything.

I guess I just really needed to vent/tell someone. I am still participating in TWLOHA Day but I am sure the next time will hurt much more. I just wish someone could explain why all this happens to me and not my brothers or sister. :/
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vanish
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Female Posts : 142
Birthday : 1993-08-27
Join date : 2009-11-05
Age : 25
Location : Canada

PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Tue Nov 10, 2009 5:42 pm

you need to get out of the house, and NOW.

He cannot be doing this to you, you really need to contact some one

Talk to a guidance counselor in school or something, this is not right and not fair.

You cannot blame yourself for this, my mother abused me very badly as well, and I do not see her at all anymore.

Please tell someone of authority, and get help, get out of the house before something very serious happens, worse than what has already happened.

Please please get out.

You can phone the kids help line and talk to them, but I really advise getting out and getting help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vanish
Let me vanish in the wind and be free like I have always dreamed
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DarkEcoFreak
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Birthday : 1992-11-21
Join date : 2009-11-08
Age : 25
Location : Ontario.

PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Tue Nov 10, 2009 5:44 pm

Vanish, she cant just leave, if she does, she leaves her siblings to take what she is.

There has to be a better way, to keep her and her siblings safe from an abusive father.
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vanish
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Female Posts : 142
Birthday : 1993-08-27
Join date : 2009-11-05
Age : 25
Location : Canada

PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Tue Nov 10, 2009 5:47 pm

yes but i think that better way would be to talk to someone in school, like during school.

I didnt mean leave as in that, i meant as in talk to someone in school and get help, they will do the rest.

If not someone will find it out and report it, and the police will get involved, which might be the best thing to make it stop.

What he is doing is illegal and assault.

He CANNOT do that to anyone. and it is not anyones fault.

He may be sick, or something, and still that does not justify his actions.

Please talk to someone in school, a guidance counselor, teacher anyone who is an adult and can help.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vanish
Let me vanish in the wind and be free like I have always dreamed
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Your_Angel
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PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:31 pm

Hidden eyes. think of it like this... at least it's happing to you and not them?
your protecting them right now?
also, if he is abusing you... by going to the your guidance council you can be taken out of that home and put your dad in jail... also, your bro and sis and mom could all leave to?
also, for Friday's event... write it on your arm and take pics and then wash it off. very fast.

here are some tips that might help you see the Brighter side to this

- at least it's not your brother and sister being abused ( as much as you would rather it be them then you they are probably thanking you so much for it)

- these events will make you a stronger person. you will become something MUCH greater then your dad if you start to make a difference and tell someone your story?


- sooner or later your going to get really sick and tired of your dad's abuse... sooner or later your going to get so mad and hurt that your going to just snap on him... and he is going to lose it on you... so don't let it get that far? stop the pain and stuff now and go to an adult at your school? or call the police? TAKE pictures of the damage he does to you!
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Hidden Eyes
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Birthday : 1995-01-15
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Age : 23
Location : Ontario CA

PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:32 pm

thanks everyone Smile
Dark I am a guy :P
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vanish
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Age : 25
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PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Tue Nov 10, 2009 6:42 pm

no problem , if you ever need more help make sure you come and tal to us, we are here for you, and will do whatever in our power to help

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vanish
Let me vanish in the wind and be free like I have always dreamed
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Shadow-Vampire
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Birthday : 1993-11-04
Join date : 2009-10-31
Age : 25
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PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Wed Nov 11, 2009 12:23 am

Well I will say these things first... Police, Guidance, Adults will not be able to help you that much, because they always assume the problem is over before it really is, and most of the time Police do not believe young children about Abuse, it would have to take your mother to tell them about this Abuse problem.

also, in my Suggestion... you might have to wait it out and just vent to a person you can trust completely not to do anything for the time being.

But in the future when someone else that can help bring income into your family (without your dad) that can support for everything you need inside that house, you could probably take a stand with trusting friends that do know how to defend themselves and whoever else is there, this will require that everyone continues until either he is ran out of the house Permently or Police are called and take action.

is there anyone who has Physically witnessed this that would tell police IF they came? because if so you would also want them there to be able to, and you will need to be very Assertive towards the Police officers when they get there so that you can make sure that it gets solved.

You might also want to make sure that you can get someone to at least help defend you and your family incase your father tries to come back, most abusive fathers stick to a certain type (from what i have seen) they fear when they are out numbered, or out strengthened and put into fear.

My best advice is to try and wait it out, and try things that might ease out the pain every tiem he tries things, like Flex (where ever he hits) it puts less strain onto you and put onto his fist (or whatever is being thrown at you)

If you need i can explain in more detail in Personal Mail.

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vanish
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Female Posts : 142
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PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Wed Nov 11, 2009 6:04 pm

SV that is unfortunately not ttrue, police believe EVERY child even if the accused is found not guilty.

I know this for a fact through my own experiences.

You cannot wait it out, you will be putting yourself in danger if you wait it out.

I have talked to my counselor on what to do if a friend was in crisis and they said the best thing to do is to tell someone you can trust.

Venting is a good idea, but fighting your father is not a great idea.

If you fight him, he can end up chrging you, and with counter charges (you against him) nothing will come outof it as you will have been doing it for self defence, and he has no justifcation for his action.

In English that means you may be charged, but he will be charged once the truth comes out. His charge will be lessened if you fight back and injure him.

Please do tell someone, that is the safest way to deal with this. Waiting it out is really NOT advised, as the abuse can become more violent and you can become seriously hurt.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vanish
Let me vanish in the wind and be free like I have always dreamed
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GrinningGremlin
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PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Fri Nov 13, 2009 3:57 am

In situations such as these, you need to fend for yourself before your siblings.

It's a cold hearted thing to do, but you do no good staying harms reach and keeping quiet.

The police actually have to take these things with full concern and take it all seriously. Child abuse is not a laughing matter, and upon calling them you will learn that.

Talk to a School councellor or Principle if you are unsure of the Laws and Legals issues, as they can point you in the direction of someone who can help you with that and will do so right away.

After talking with the Police they will conduct a search and test of the residents of your household to see if there is infact abuse going on. Should you feel unsafe returning to the household if (in the unlikely event) they deem your father a safe person to be around, you can speak up and they will find you a place to stay. They are bound by law, and cannot force you to stay in a place you truly feel unsafe.


This is where I need to step up for a moment. I have no doubt that you are telling the truth, however, should your story be that of fictional work you should know that your father can possibly serve 10-25 years in jail for the offence you are accusing him of. There is a difference between child abuse, and diciplinary action. Obviously the actions described in your rant are abusive and should be dealt with immediately.

I've seen in many court cases a child over-exagerate the offence over something as silly as a game console. So please, do not over-exaggerate should you take the offence to court (as is your legal right).
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vanish
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PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Fri Nov 13, 2009 7:54 pm

I agree, as I have been to court myself, and I know how they pick your head apart to make sure you are NOT lying or over-exaggerating.

These facts above are the easiest most safest way to becoe safe, and even if you do not feel comfortable in your home and the police say you can stay there and you choose not to, you can tell them that your siblings should be able to go to a safe place so that they too are protected.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Vanish
Let me vanish in the wind and be free like I have always dreamed
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Mindfreak_Angel
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PostSubject: Re: Why does this all happen?   Sat Nov 14, 2009 12:51 am

I agree with the fact that you should speak to some sort of authority and tell them what is going on. you are obviously not safe there. and if the authorities find out that your father is in fact abusive after they do their check they will remove you and your siblings from the home, they have no choice because they know if they only remove you he will begin to abuse the others. so if you talk to the authorities for help, not only will your father go to jail for what he has done, but you and all of your siblings will be put in safe homes. although you may not nessisarily be in the same home, they may have to split you up.
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